December 12, 2012

Quiet Ramblings of Thankfulness

Unfortunately I have not updated this blog as much as I would have liked. I will try to post a few new drawings in the next couple of weeks. : /

I have been rather reclusive the last couple months...My focus has been on spending time with my Husband, spending time in the studio, and spending time learning to walk with my Lord. I do miss friends, but I mostly desire to be alone. Being in the studio has been nice, and quite honestly I am shocked at how much God has blessed the work of my hands and how I am improving. I believe good things are coming next year and I have peace in many ways...

The last few months have been quite difficult. Sometimes, even after the miracle comes, it is hard for life to return to normal. People are the same, but we have changed. And sometimes it takes a long time for us to heal after going through something traumatic.

In many ways I miss the times of my life when I had quiet devotional time with Christ. I don't want to live in the past, or see it with rose colored glasses. I know those times were equally difficult in their own ways. Yet, there is a part of me that longs for them again. When Brad and I first moved to Chicago I was a stay-at-home house wife for 6 months. Those were some of the best times of my life. Days of waking up and spending hours in the morning reading and praying, alone with my Lord. I had an overwhelming peace in my life because of walking so close to Christ.

It is funny, but we rarely realize the best times of our life while we are living them. It is only when we look back...

When I first began training at SORA and had to commute downtown 2 hours each way...it was so painful, especially on those freezing cold mornings. But God taught me how to love people during that time. How to really love people. I was given the opportunity to listen to strangers and even to pray with some I met on the bus. I was able to talk with homeless people and listen to those in need. I hated the journey at the time, but looking back I realize how much it did to change me and how amazing of a time period it was in my life.

Over the summer, as I watched my Husband lay in the hospital for weeks, I had to deal seriously with the notion that I could lose him. Despite this, it was only later that I realized how close he had truly come to going home with Christ. Every day that I am with him now is a gift to me. I see his beautiful smile and the light in his eyes and I find myself often wondering "how can I be so blessed?". Apart from Christ, he is my world. He is my better half and it would be hard to smile each day if he wasn't here. I am thankful beyond measure that I still have him in my life and that I am his wife.

I don't expect many people to happen upon these ramblings...I wasn't really expecting to write them. I will post pictures as I can, but I feel that over time I may not post as many as I once did. I hope I am wrong, though.

Overall, I feel very thankful tonight. Thankful to Christ for saving my Husband and thankful to Him for saving me. I don't deserve this life, my Husband, or the studio where I study. I don't deserve His mercy and I don't deserve His love. But I am thankful for all of it. I just hope in time I can honor Him more and more with this life He has given me. I treasure every part of it. Praise be to God.

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