"The perfect church service would be one we were almost unaware of; our attention would have been on God." - C. S. Lewis
Over the last three months, after suffering complications from a surgery in March, my husband has been through an amazingly difficult period in his life. As his wife, it was a difficult and depressing experience for me as I sat by, helpless, to do anything other than try to ease his suffering. During this time, though, we have both drawn closer to the Lord and have such a deep reverence and hunger for His Presence in our lives. I have a deeper hunger to know Him and a desire to seek Him with all my heart. I want to draw and paint for His pleasure, that His name would be glorified on earth.
I have decided to take away external links to this blog as that I feel I can be more open and unhindered in my writing and artwork updates in knowing that this blog is less linked to the outside world. I will not go as far as making in private, but I am taking away the links from Facebook and from ConceptArt.org. I originally started this blog as something for myself, an outlet to write of my experience with God and to showcase my journey of creating artwork for His glory. I aim to move back to that place.
Personally, it is too easy for me to fall into the trap of caring what others think, of becoming a people-pleaser instead of a God-pleaser. Before accepting Christ, when we are in the world and follow the ways of this world, we base our worth and value on our Performance + Other's opinions of us. When we come to accept Christ's sacrifice and to know Him personally and walk with the Lord daily, our view begins to change. We no longer see ourselves as the world sees us, but we begin to see ourselves as God sees us - how He has now defined us. Our worth and value has changed dramatically. We have to learn these truths and hold to them, looking to God for approval and acceptance, knowing He sees us and accepts us as we are in Christ. We must work to let go of people pleasing and all these methods we have developed over the years of attempting to gain approval by the world's ways and standards. We must learn to look to Christ.
I believe A. W. Tozer said it best in the following passage (taken from "The Pursuit of God" and one of my favorites):
"The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort...he has stopped being fooled about himself...He knows he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is in the sight of God of more importance than angels. In himself, nothing; in God, everything...He knows well that the world will never see him as God sees him and he has stopped caring."
I will post an update later this week with my most recent finished cast and completed figure drawing. The figure drawing is lacking compared to some of my other drawings, but it was a good refresher after being away from the studio. I look forward to diving into the world of painting over the summer as I attempt to copy some Master Artist pieces. I will try and update this blog more often.